theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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