Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize