wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize