i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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