i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.