I like to think it a success when the cops are called
and she was petting her beer can
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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