is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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