Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize