My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
