Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
