apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
