I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
