Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
