We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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