she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
