I'm lost and stupid without you.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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