Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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