All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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