Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize