he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
