You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude i'm inner monologue high
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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