Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
