It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
