we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
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I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
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At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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