Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
