apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I didn't notice because vodka
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
