I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
