She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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