my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Church boner. Awkwardddd
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
