I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
