2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
