Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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