Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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