school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
