is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
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