i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
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i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
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Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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