covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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