She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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