so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Every concussion has its silver lining
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
