So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
