Nicole vs. Life
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
