So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
