Jerry, you need to find god
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
