K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
