He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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