i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There's always time for handjobs
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize