So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
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