Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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