I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
