I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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