Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
her facebook's as public as her vagina
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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