ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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