More tranny stories later!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
