Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
