i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
