Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
