I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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