YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize