there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
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Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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