Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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