i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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