I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
