Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Randomize
