Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
