apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
