Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
