The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i need some magic done to my vagina
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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