Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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