you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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